You are in a wrong relationship, this you know. Perhaps you are feeling guilty about it, but like an addiction that’s hard to resist. An affair can control your life and eventually dominate it and tear it apart. Ending it isn’t quite easy but you’ve got to tear yourself away from it before it tears.
And you have to remember this, no pointers or hand holding can help you out of an affair unless you make up your mind to end it in the first place.
You may have started an affair by a twist of chance and fate, but only determination and strength can get you out of the irresistible affair.
Read the ways you can end an affair…
One: Focus on the cons
Make a list of all the things that you don’t like about the affair, be it the guilt, the fear, the remorse, or the lack of anything solid other than s3x. Spend a while and write down everything you can remember. Do you really have interesting conversations or is it all just about the s3x?
You may think you’re in love your adulterous amour, but is it really love or is it just an escape from your boring or frustrating life? Read the list every now and then, when you’re missing your lover or waiting to hear from them. It’ll help you realize that you have more to lose than gain by staying in this affair.
Two: Talk to a trusted friend for emotional support
An affair is like an exciting secret that you can’t wait to share. But yet, you have no choice but to keep it a secret. If you really want to know how to end an affair, you need help from a trusted friend. Pour out your heart to a friend and tell them about everything and how you feel about it.
Sometimes, talking to someone else can feel relieving and it’s always a good way to get in a second opinion on how to end an affair. And let’s not forget the emotional support that you need at a time like this.
Three: Pick flaws in your affair
You may throw your weight around your own partner or throw an occasional tantrum now and then. Have you tried that with your lover? How would they react?
Try to create issues in your illicit relationship or pick flaws in it. If you can’t walk out immediately because you’re too addicted, see how your lover reacts to your outbursts. Chances are, they’re no different from your own partner.
As long as your illicit relationship revolves around s3x, the relationship may seem exciting. But bring in a bit of real life into the affair, and you’ll see how illicit lovers change their behaviour.
Four: Bring the affair’s excitement into your real relationship or marriage
What does your affair give you that your present relationship doesn’t? Is it the mind blowing s3x, the intimate connection or is it the communication? Whatever it may be, your real relationship too has the power to have all of that, be it s3xual or intellectual.
Let your partner know what you want out of a happy relationship, s3xually or otherwise, and try to bring the affair’s excitement into your own relationship. By experiencing the same emotions, you’d soon see that an affair isn’t really giving you anything more but a bag of guilt and fear.
Five: Get it to definitely end
It’s not easy but it’s something that has to be done. Speak with your lover and tell them that you can’t live like this anymore. Tell them about the guilt and the fear the affair is causing you. Be clear and get it to definitely end.
And once you’re done explaining yourself, end all contact and try to stay away from each other. Be firm, but not rude. You don’t want to upset your lover or piss them off into trying to blackmail you.
Six: Wipe away the signs of your affair
If you’ve made up your mind and understood that your real relationship is far more special and important than a love affair that lasts only within the sheets, it’s time to start wiping away the signs of your affair.
Does your lover have any pictures or videos that could put you in trouble? Or are there any other details that need to be wiped off? Be discreet, but thorough. Your lover may seem like a nice person, but seriously, you have no idea about their real personality because your entire relationship was only based on s3x.
Seven: Resist the temptation of getting back into the affair
Here is one of the biggest difficulties that come after the affair is actually over. For a few weeks or months, you’d feel more vulnerable and the temptation to get back into an affair will be immense. This is when you need to focus on your own relationship with your partner and avoid thinking about your lover.
Keep yourself occupied all the time, and read your list of reasons behind why you wanted to end the affair. And whenever you get the urge to make that call, remember the effort you put into getting out of the affair. Do not let it go in vain.
eight: If your lover calls you
Learn to firm yourself up when your lover calls you. They may plead, beg or even force you to come back, but stick to your decision. If you feel bad about it, explain your feelings clearly and try to explain why this would be the best solution for both of you.