Today, on this sunny mid day, I have been to about three cyber cafes and they are all full to the brim; suddenly, everyone is going for NYSC. I’m not really excited about the scheme so the sight of all these people is making my head bang like bangdadadang. I have decided that I won’t be going to another if Badek Cafe too is full. Let’s just pray it is not full, I cannot come and go and kill myself for federal government because of federal government. Just imagine, I was already optimistic about a good paying media job I applied for just a week ago and that’s when Clarion knows it has to call. There is God sha.
I’m at Badek now, and the crowd is not as much as the ones I’ve been to, so I can manage. Let me ask who the last person on the queue is.
“Please who is the last person on the queue?”
Abi this babe does not understand English ni? Let me ask a guy abeg, ladies and their wahala.
“Bro abeg, who is the last person on the queue?”
You see, and she wouldn’t even answer me. Let me just leave her abeg. Ehn ehn, better people, which states would you advise me to pick? I can have Lagos if I want it, my mum would be very happy to make that work, but lailai, I need a break from Lagos and my mum. I want Cross River. God should please answer my….
“I don’t have an email address, let me call my husband, so I’ll use his own….”
My people, sorry for disrupting the prayer jare. But for real, how does one go to a university without having an email address? This one pass me o. I can’t even take my eyes off the woman! Haba! Pesin wey no go university sef get email address, and that she would have to call her husband for his is nauseating. Mtchew….
What was I even saying before sef? Ehn ehn, I want Cross River. Okay which other place do you think is cool? Well, Abuja is cool but it’s expensive. Kano? What about Benue? I heard they have an overdose of food; that means it should be cheap. You know na, plenty food shikini money….
Wait let me move to the next seat.
“What’s your blood group?”
“Oga me I no know o…”
“So what do you want to write there?”
“Abeg write anything….”
“So as you grow reach, you no know your blood group?”
“Dem dey take am collect money?”
Hmmm, too many graduates, yet too many….
Who know me for this place again?
“Oh my God! Richard!”
“How have you been?”
“You are registering for NYSC too?”
“Oh that’s good! Me too!”
Ahn ahn, how could Richard possibly be registering for NYSC at this time, with me!
“I thought you got in before me?”
“So what happened?”
“I changed my course.”
Life, they say, is a bitch. Richard was the reason why I locked myself up in my room and cried till my mum thought I would commit suicide, because Unilag picked him and left me….